by Parrish W. Jones, Ph.D.

©All rights reserved 2002

Luke 10:38-42

I occasionally have heard women refer to each other as Marthas or Marys. Were it not for the gender identity of these two women, men would be identified in a like manner. We’ve been inclined to think of Marthas as persons who do things, who work on practical projects that have end results. Marys tend to be more intellectually inclined and to have a greater sense of spirituality. It’s a bit easier actually to talk about Marthas than Marys because we can see what they do.

However, persons who self-identify themselves as Marthas tend to do so with the disclaiming word “just”. “I am just a Martha”, they say as if that means not much can be expected of them in the spiritual sphere. “Ask me to bake a cake or serve a meal, but don’t ask me to teach Sunday School,” is their refrain.

That implies, of course, that Sunday School teachers are Marys and can’t do the other stuff. The two we have presumed on biblical grounds are clear and distinct and cannot be mixed.

The conflict we discover between Martha and Mary is driven by several factors. One is that Martha may very well be frustrated by having to prepare and serve refreshments and meals for the guests without so much as a nod from Mary. So we have the frustration that often arises in churches when some seem to be constantly doing all the chores and others do not chip in. The other driving force here is Martha’s expectation of Mary. Mary was doing what was against the conventional practice. She was assuming the position of a man sitting at the feet of the rabbi.

While we think in many respects we have overcome role distinction in our culture, I continue to witness and struggle with what we might call pigeon holing of persons because they are women. It is true that for the most part women possess certain capacities for things and men for other things because of our evolution and the controlling rule of the need to survive. A simple change in culture does not negate thousands if not millions of years of evolution. For example, women have greater manual dexterity than men, which is why they excel generally in many factory jobs that require fine motor skills. It is true that women are generally better at finding things in place and men at seeing things in motion. However, generalities are not absolutes nor are they divine law. Nor do the distinctions mean one is better and the other worse. It is not better to be

intellectual than technical,

a scholar than a laborer,

a man than a woman,

young instead of old,

vegetarian instead of omnivarian,

jock instead of geek,

rich instead of poor,

sighted instead of blind,

hearing instead of deaf,

physically able instead of challenged.

People of Jesus’s day did not have a theory of natural law but they were inclined to believe that the way things were was the way God intended. Jesus comes along, Martha says more or less to Mary, “Mary, it’s better for you to be in the kitchen because that is the way it is supposed to be.”

While this part of the conversation is not recorded, we have all seen enough situations like this to know that Martha had probably tried discreetly to get Mary to behave. When discretion failed she appealed to the only authority that Mary would listen to, namely, Jesus.

Martha gets the surprise of her life. Jesus sides with Mary.

Now we have to unpack this little event or we will badly miss the point. You see this event follows the account of Jesus telling the story of the Good Samaritan, a story intended to interpret the two great commandments: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus is suggesting that Martha is robbing and beating Mary for her choice. Mary has made a choice, it is not Martha’s choice. Now Jesus seems to imply that Mary’s choice is better. But we must notice that he says of Martha that she is distracted by many things.

What things? Her own tendency to fret over details? Perhaps. Her worry about what the neighbors and other disciples will think because Mary is out of place? Perhaps. Her worry that Mary not forget her place? Perhaps. Her concern that the other disciples will become resent Mary’s intrusion into the male world? Perhaps. We could go on.

The point is not that Martha has chosen wrongly by choosing to work in the kitchen to prepare the meal. People will have to eat and food did not appear on the table by miracle in those days like it seems to today. She is not wrong for worrying about the details or for choosing the kitchen. The point is that her motivations are all wrongly placed. She is imposing on Mary instead of letting Mary follow her call.

Martha has not caught on quite to the revolution that Jesus is leading. This revolution will bring a radical kind of freedom. As Paul wrote in Galatians, “For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.” Martha was calling Mary to sacrifice her freedom of be what God calls her to be, not what the world forces her to be. God’s call always overrides human convention.

Martha was not reprimanded by Jesus for being in the kitchen. She was reprimanded for not letting the walls of the kitchen crumble, so Mary could follow her call while Martha pursued hers. So Martha was no longer to presume that the only call for a woman was to be in the kitchen. Mary had found for her what was better.

We have learned this lesson in part in our culture, but we need to learn it better. In the letter to the Corinthians Paul wrote that we all have gifts given us by the Holy Spirit for the building of the church. Mary and Martha had different gifts. What is wrong is not having different gifts, but expecting others to be gifted as we are or expecting everyone to exhibit our gift. Some of the Corinthians made their gift the preeminent gift. If you did not speak in tongues, they said, then you had not received the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

What Jesus is seeking to convey to us is that neighborly people do not condemn their neighbors for being different. Instead, we rejoice when our brother or sister finds their gift and pursues it in the name of the Lord. Nor do we diminish ourselves for our gifts. If we are following God’s call and pursuing our gifts, we are following God’s hopes and dreams for us. That is faith-full-ness.